10.6.2022 - Domestic Violence Awareness Month Flag Raising Ceremony

good afternoon nice to see everybody today my name is Jeff Glidden I work with the violence recovery program here in Fall River and I am representing on behalf of the greater Fall River domestic violence coalition just want to thank everybody for being here today we've got a little bit of an agenda we're going to have a few people speak share about a project we have going on inside and then we'll read a proclamation

together and raise our flag but our purpose today is to publicly recognize our shared commitment to end domestic violence but also I think important for me is to appreciate those that are shouldering the work um I'll read the mission of the Coalition if that feels okay the greater Fall River domestic violence Coalition is a partnership of community organizations survivors and allies working to achieve

a community free from violence the Coalition serves as a platform for members to share resources Network and collaborate as well as engages the community by encouraging greater public awareness and transformative action the Coalition is committed to elevating the voices of survivors and dismantling systems of Oppression that continue to make domestic violence possible frdvc.org check us out for more info

um I especially want to thank a few of our Coalition organizations the Women's Center at Star the Women's Center out of New Bedford and also South Coast Counties Legal Services they alongside with me have done a lot of the work that we do here in this community and thank you all so much for holding the stories of the invisible and the unspoken I think I also want to thank so many of the helpers that aren't

here today and that don't get recognized um and especially want to honor and uphold the survivors whose lights can cannot be extinguished um I want to say a thank you to the mayor and the mayor's office for helping um support this today but maybe more broadly want to thank and uplifts all of the decision makers and leaders here today whether you lead a family a group of peers an organization an

office a community or a city you're all leaders and your power matters and so if anything comes from today maybe just kind of draw strength from each other knowing what's important um I'm gonna turn it over to one of our Coalition members Jen Murphy who's going to share a little bit about a project that we have going on inside and then we'll introduce our next guest speaker all right hello everyone I'm short can

you hear me okay um hi everyone I'm Jen I'm a clinician here at the Women's Center at Star and it was my pleasure to host the clothesline project this year and to share it with all of you today so I want to let everyone know that this project will be on display inside at City Hall for the whole month of October as we continue to raise awareness about domestic violence

so I'm just gonna talk a little bit about the project before I introduce our guest speaker the clothesline project is a visual display of violence statistics that often go ignored this is a project that originated here in Massachusetts in 1990 in Cape Cod to initially address violence against women so I want to say that today our dialogue about this has expanded and we know that

domestic violence and gendered violence are not synonymous the intimate partner violence is not a binary offense on the contrary it happens regardless of gender sexuality race culture socioeconomic status Etc the purpose of this project is to continue to increase awareness of the impact of violence and abuse to honor a survivor's strength to continue and to provide another Avenue for them to courageously break the

silence that often surrounds this isolating experience the expression inherent in creating a shirt provides a tangible way to process sharing stories of domestic violence in a community or group format is a collaborative way to begin to dismantle the shame and stigma attached to domestic violence that further contributes to and perpetuates the lack of sustainable resources for survivors

the invitation to reclaim and reframe their narrative on their terms and in their way is a profoundly impactful exercise in resiliency and empowerment for a survivor this project aims to honor what it took to survive so with that I want to thank my amazing colleagues in the women's center for helping me facilitate this project I could not have done it without your enthusiasm support and hard work and

more importantly I want to thank every Survivor who participated in sharing a piece of their story truly thank you so much and with that I'm really thrilled to introduce our guest speaker for today Jennifer where did she go thank you

I want to start with saying 20 people are physically abused each minute 20 000 phone calls are made to hotlines in just one day about this topic alone 40 000 ER visits each year are a result of this problem 750 000 children are witnesses to this in just one year domestic violence my name is Jennifer and I'm ashamed to admit that prior to 2004 I never thought about the impact of domestic violence

and did I know what it was yes but did I understand the gravity of it no and now you might wonder what prompts me to advocate for it now so unfortunately the answer hurts the short answer is my sister Jessica the long answer is a tragic senseless heart-wrenching loss a life that was taken at 22 years old a mother taken from her babies when they were only three years old

a woman who had a whole lifetime ahead of her but was cut short by the man that she had planned to marry I would like to say that Jessica was truly the best of us not because she was perfect by any means but she somehow mastered learning to live life to the fullest she laughed loud and often and she was everyone's best friend she was one of those people as corny as

it sounds to say that she lit up a room while she was the life of the party and I can still picture that infectious smile on her face she spent her time between loving on her babies and working hard to make them Proud by working in health care she was the kind of mother that saved every Band-Aid filled every page in their baby books with notes and celebrated every little milestone

she was a loved and adored by all her patients and always came home with stories to share with us proving that she had adored them just as much so how does this beautiful life suddenly end well you may expect that I would detail the progression of domestic violence but here's the truth there was no progression that we're aware of there was no evidence of abuse verbal emotional or physical at the time

we discovered she was a victim of domestic violence after her death by the detectives of Fall River and honestly I still struggle with this I will say hindsight is 2020 and I do look back and recognize moments of gaslighting Deceit alienation from her family and just subtle changes only now after understanding domestic violence do I recognize this looking back maybe I would have recognized that she spoke softer when

her abuser was around she didn't laugh quite as loud I could have probed further when I noticed the random bruises on her body or reminded her a million more times that we were always there for her I believe she lived a life of an abused woman out of love and fear she loved her babies so deeply she wanted to keep her family together and she wanted so badly to fix him

truly because she loved him she thought she was protecting her family by staying but who was protecting her I want to be the person that can tell you where it all went wrong and how to prevent it but unfortunately that's not my reality I didn't know my system was a victim and I didn't know that the man who my family welcomed into their life would be the one to end hers

I didn't know what to look for and even if I had I wouldn't have known where to go for help people wonder why I share her story and sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing by sharing something so personal and something that really isn't mine to share there isn't one simple answer it's a combination of not being able to save her and shrank to navigate life without her

you walk 18 years of my life with her and now for the past 18 years I've looked at them without her and I don't know how to explain what a bright light the world lost that day or how badly our hearts broke or how we walk with the part of our soul missing but maybe her just maybe her story can save someone else because I refuse to let her life be lost for nothing

the fight didn't end when her life did the Fight Continues on for every single person without a voice for every person that has had their light dimmed by an abuser for every single child that has been affected by this I refuse to let them fight alone I've been given the opportunity to see the work that the Fall River Coalition is doing meet people that defend the cause the people that are willing to

help if and when you might need them without judgment and recently I was invited to stop by an event and I was blessed absolutely blessed to meet women that felt comfortable sharing their stories with me I could wipe away some of their tears share a few of my own and just hug them because truth be told what I witnessed will be ingrained in my memory forever why because I didn't know truth strength

until I met survivors until I heard the stories of their trauma and abuse that I can't even imagine existed until the person before my eyes became my hero because they are the Warriors we advocate for these are the people who need our help and these are people we have to unite with to end domestic violence to set the precedent in our community as a whole that we do not tolerate abuse and we do not stand by

for violence I'm no expert and I don't have the right answers but I do have my voice and that's the tool I'm using to Aid in the fight against domestic violence you may wonder what you can do a lot of people don't know where to stop what to do you can talk to your children you can educate them on violence in all forms emotional verbal physical abuse and if you aren't sure what to say that's okay

there are resources to help with this I ask that you check your workplaces question your human resource departments on what resources are available to your fellow employees push to make these resources known you'll be surprised how many people need them I just want to end with this we cannot ignore that one in Four Women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime one in four

this could be your mom your aunt your friend your cousin your daughter in my case it's my sister this is a problem that is personal to us all we should all be invested in joining the fight let's do this together

thank you so much Jennifer for sharing that story I think it clarifies why we're here and why this matters and I just want to appreciate your your bravery in sharing that and I think so often the stories of survivors and their families are silenced or not told um and I'm I'm grateful that we're able to give some space for you today thank you so much um and I'll just add appreciating

Jennifer and the folks at Star as well for the clothesline project and you can encourage folks to stop in it's inside today at City Hall if you go right in the atrium building it's very worth checking out if you have a moment after today um all right I want to give a um a moment or two for the mayor to say a few words um and some of our other folks that are

here today and then we'll kind of read the proclamation together foreign well I just want to thank the greater forward domestic violence Coalition for all the work they do uh day in day out in the city of Fall River listening to that story was a bit much for me nobody can hear me hello is that better okay I gotta talk right into it but I do want to thank the Coalition for coming down here today to

acknowledge it I was in the atrium this morning looking at the t-shirts for the clothesline projects and if you have a moment after it really is something to see I do want to acknowledge some of my partners in in government that work on this kind of issue all the time and I'm going to obviously let them come up and say a few words but I'll acknowledge them as a group first of all our three

state representatives which are everywhere all the time representative Allen Sylvia representative Paul Schmidt and representative Carol Fiola and City councilor Linda Pereira has also joined us today if any of them would like to come up now is the time to go up and say a few words come on up as a group we're together thank you guys thank you Jennifer for those incredible words and sharing your pain very briefly

we're here to support and say thank you to all of you who are there for our citizens in the community I think I would add to see the police chief up here as well because I know that they are on the front line they're the sometimes the first people that encounter domestic violence and it is one of the worst types of crimes that they see in our community I really also want to just add

one other thing if you're watching this there are people here to help we fund programs but these are the people that are there for you don't be afraid to come forward they're here to help you thank you just quickly I just want to thank you you know the meteor is here for the media uh so very important because it is these listening to you Jen and and victims that's so important to deliver that story

and and you know we think always that it's the younger person because I look and I see all young people but there's a population that's missed older women and domestic violence seldom talked about but we see it so often and these are folks who have stayed in relationships that were violent and have been violent for many years and I just want people to think of that and to be able to reach out

you know rep Viola mentioned our police they are truly uh the first line of support but there are so many other advocates in there they're here so thank you all so very much having worked with many victims of domestic domestic violence in my previous jobs I know that many times you're afraid to come forward and to say that there's violence going on whether it be emotional or physical you make

excuses for every bruise on your body you wonder why you're staying there know that you can get help you're not alone call these organizations all of these people are there to help you you don't need to live like that and children don't need to see that because then they consider that to be normal and the abuse continues so please if you're watching this reach out to people who can help you you're not alone and thank

you all for putting this together well thank you very much Linda you are you are truly everywhere in fall river which we appreciate I'm happy to be here with my colleagues representative phiola representative Sylvia and of course representative Sylvia you have firsthand knowledge of this issue in your former life as a police officer and we know that you have specific uh reference and

experience in this so thank you for your words our colleague Senator rodericks would be here but he's up in Boston and he sends his best wishes I just wanted to say uh it's it's kind of ironic we're standing here in the uh sunlight and uh recognizing Maureen Flanagan from the Senator's office we're standing here uh in the sunlight beautiful summer Indian Summer Afternoon and actually there are shadows aren't there

and the stories you have told us uh just now remind us that these Shadows exist everywhere in every community at every level and those are shadows that often go unnoticed uh but Jennifer when someone like you has the courage to speak about your family's personal experience believe me you shine the sun on those shadowed areas and we thank you uh let's just all of us remember as we go forward that this exists

on the nicest of days and on the worst of days at night everywhere in the community thank you to all of you for bringing this to our attention unless just all of us take this as a personal goal to never forget these stories and do everything we can thank you very much thank you all for those words that means a lot to have your support and presence here today and I want to Echo whether

you're a politician or a parent a police officer or just a person that your presence here matters in your ability to influence change matters um we're gonna shift and go right into our Proclamation which is something that we kind of collaboratively collaboratively wrote as a coalition so we wanted to do this in a collaborative way alongside with the mayor so we're going to have a few of our members come

up and read some of those words and we'll hopefully have this up on our website for folks to look at later if you miss some of it today well I'll invite folks to come up one by one to do that

whereas while our communities continue to recover from the devastating effects of covid-19 pandemic domestic violence remains an ongoing pandemic that impacts individuals families and our greater Fall River Community and whereas domestic violence most egregiously impacts the vulnerable and marginalized people in our community including black indigenous and people of color immigrants and the elderly the economically

disenfranchised lgbtq folks women and children and those with mental or physical disabilities whereas nearly 20 million 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States which represents more than 10 million victims of domestic violence annually and whereas violence against women has intensified in the United States and globally since the onset of kova 19

pandemic with one in two women reporting that they or woman that they know has experienced violence since the pandemic whereas domestic violence is understood to be a problem that is exacerbated by increased confinement with abusive Partners social isolation from support systems increased unemployment unstable housing stress associated with child care Financial insecurity and lack of

substance use supports and whereas the social and political safety nets put in place at the start of the covid-19 to Aid the public economically emotionally and physically are currently disassembling leaving these minority communities in a state of heightened vulnerability and

whereas many of these survivors choose not to report to the police the courts or domestic violence agencies for fear of being harmed or re-traumatized by its systems that are meant to support them and are also isolated from in-person support such as therapists family members and Friends and whereas we recognize that a coordinated Community effort can prevent and Abate the pattern of domestic

violence and that all of our citizens deserve to live in a city that is dedicated to their well-being and safety

now therefore we as members of the greater Fall River domestic violence Coalition alongside the mayor commit to dismantling systems of Oppression that continue to make domestic violence possible and commit to upholding an ethic of care and accountability that recognizes the unique vulnerabilities and agencies of survivors and therefore we as members of the greater Fall River domestic violence

Coalition alongside the mayor commit to believing all survivors and here declare a specific intention to believe in a firm all survivors who experience additional forms of Oppression and put them at exponential risk therefore we as members of the greater Fall River domestic violence Coalition along with the mayor of the city of Fall River commit to addressing the unique and intensified problems that have

Arisen for survivors due to the covid-19 pandemic through improving the system that provides assistance for all survivors and recognize the importance of our Collective action in achieving this change now therefore we as members of the greater Fall River domestic violence Coalition alongside mayor Paul Coogan the mayor of Fall River do hereby Proclaim October 2022 as domestic violence Awareness Month thank you

thank you mayor and everybody I'm going to beautifully transition over to the flag and raise it and that will conclude our event for the day but thank you all so much