11.14.2025 Transgender Day of Remembrance

So, my name is Sean Connell and I'm a proud trans, non-binary, gender non-conforming human being, born and raised in Fall River, and I am not going anywhere.

So, I'm going to need you guys here to let me be explicit for a minute. So, bear with me through some tough uh tough thoughts and some real talk. In preparing for tonight, my very life was threatened. So, it's not that we're trying to sexualize children. Queer people have been sexualized for centuries. And in that sexualization of us, we've been punished. We've been criminalized. We've been outlawed. Take

one step back and look at the earth and understand that more countries and jurisdictions still actively jail, fine, or execute us than allow us to get married. I want us to sit on that because the numbers approximately 30-ish countries allow us to get married and approximately 70ish countries jail or execute us. So yes, some queer people exist on television. You might even have to sit through a TV show that has a

trans person who has a story to tell.

I'm so sorry that our stories are inconvenient to you. But you know what's inconvenient to me? Being told to kill myself in the city that I've raised myself in. that I've raised friends up in, that I've been a social teacher, an educator, and mentor for my entire life in. I was born at Charlton Memorial Hospital. I've lived in the South End.

I've lived in the North End. This is my home. And in my own home, this is the stuff that I've been told. And my story is not unique. Okay? This is not a unique to me story. I am out here and I speak with this voraciousness and I'm able to talk about this because of those who I have helped because of the stories of the people you've heard today. Those who are struggling to access gender

affirming care which saves lives. I'm tired of not raising my voice and I'm tired of not pushing back. Facebook and Instagram and social media, yeah, it's a void. It is a vacuum. when when I engage on those posts, when every of us engage on this, I would encourage you to do what you can, but take rest where you need to remember a lot of those minds, you're not going to change. And we're

not trying to change those minds. What we are trying to do is remind the people like us, like me, the people who might be reading it from the sidelines, that they're not alone, that they're not abnormal, that they're not sinful, they're not wrong, that the stigma and guilt and the shame that they feel that pushes us to two to five times the higher suicide rates is something we need to unpack and that society needs to

fix and change, not us. I always knew that I was uh non-binary. I actually identify as agender for those who aren't familiar with that term. It means that I do not feel connected to being masculine or feminine. It's also synonymous with being called genderless for some people.

And I came across this term when I was doing a report for school and high school as a ally for transgender bathroom rights, not knowing that it would apply to Mason. And during my research, I found the term genderless and it immediately clicked with who I was. But I wasn't sure who would be safe to come out to. So I kept it hidden for many, many months, only coming out a

little bit to a couple of friends at school, which were all very supportive.

And that gave me the courage to when our LGBTQ plus after school program decided that they were going to have a coming out night that I was going to take my mom there and that was a safe environment where students would have their peers and adults would have supportive parents and teachers if they had questions they were confused they would also have someone support them as well. And my mom agreed to go and last

second she decided she wasn't going to.

Me panicking this was my day. I hyped myself up. My friends were hyping me up.

I was like, I gotta do this. I gotta do this. So, I came down to the kitchen. I came out to my mom and I was like, "Mom, I am not a girl. I am called genderless cuz I didn't know the term agender at the time. And I use Zer Zim pronouns."

And she goes, "Zizer Zim, like Zim from Invader Zim the cartoon." I was like, "Same energy." Yeah.

She like, "Okay, we had drag queen story time and they said we gave them drugs and had them show them porn." That is the level of lies and rumor making that we are up against every single day. And then dozens of people in this last year, this last year alone, which we'll be reading the names and memorializing them shortly, have been murdered and killed because of who they are. And people dare

say that we're the evil ones. I actually challenged that on a recent political post that they said we are evil for doing this memorialization. And I had to stop and think not the ones who murdered us, but those who were murdered and those who dare come together to memorialize those lost. We're the evil ones.

I don't think it's us who have to check our values on that. I think some people need to take a long hard look in the mirror and understand that hatred leads to violence every single time. It has been proven throughout history a million times. Do we have dozens of pride centers in every single city? Do we have tens of thousands of gay missionaries spreading the word of what it means to

be homosexual? Right? Do we have people handing out pamphlets or going to your door and expressing the gospel to you?

No. But we're the ones accused of against sexualization, shoving it down our throats. Now, if you want to share the good word and you want to share in community, that's something you can do.

But to use that word to demonize people, to say that we are wrong or that we should be killed, your gospel is not anointed. Those are not the words that I've understood from Jesus. God or almost any religion when you take a step back and realize how diverse and how beautiful our diversity is. I have spoken at this event two times before last year and the year before that.

The first year I came to you guys, I was a year out from tea. I had no idea at the point, but I was. The second time I was two months on testosterone and this year I'm coming to you guys one year on testosterone and I want to say 6 months after receiving my first binder. So it's a little bit of joy there.

And I figured maybe just to come full circle, I would reread the first poem I read the first time that I spoke. I wrote it when I was 14 and just really starting to find who I was, starting to understand that there could be more than just what you're born as.

And I just figured it was a way to get my feelings out.

Yes, I know you are confused. I sound like a girl, but my chest is not visible and my clothes are in from the men's section of the store. Let me guess. Your next words would be, "Are you a girl or a boy?" Boy, I am a boy born into this form that I do not own. This shape that is not mine. A skin that is a little too tight in some areas and a little too

loose in others. Like a malfunction in the system in the factory of people.

During the process of me, they forgot the final switch. I tried to explain to mom, "But you always went for the girls toys." Yes, I did. But I wanted the trucks. I always went for the girls toys because at such a young age, it is drilled into our minds that girls go for pink, for dresses and heels, for makeup and Barbies. I long for the day that I am free. Free of this body that isn't

quite me. For the day I can wrap a towel around just my waist instead of my whole body because there will be nothing extra. For the day I can swim without a shirt or a binder or anything else, just swim shorts. For the day that I can look into the mirror and be happy with my chest without worrying about breaking my ribs in the process of feeling myself.

For the day that I can be me. I am real.

I am here. I AM ME.

NOW imagine that because of the work that the committee does to memorialize trans and gender non-conforming people who were murdered, someone felt it was reasonable and acceptable to tell me that I need to die.

I have 13 mutual friends with this person's girlfriend. This isn't some random act of hate from a distance. This is homegrown ignorance and hatred at its finest.

The current political climate hates us.

Let's be real. They fear us. Gender non-conforming people, we challenge the patriarchy. We challenge gender roles.

We challenge the notion of normal and we break binaries. People don't like that.

They are there are not just two sexes.

There is a spectrum. There are not just two genders. There is a spectrum. This is not up for debate. This is what the current science and sociological and psychological science tells us through the diverse human experience of over eight billion people on Earth across hundreds of countries and thousands of languages. We have been here for thousands of years. Gender non-conforming people and diverse

sexualities were documented 10,000 years ago in Sicily, Italy, and we have been here since. Lily Elb in the early 1920s was the first person to receive gender affirming sexual reassignment surgery.

We're not a freaking Tumblr fat. We've always been here.

So, people have to understand, no, gender identity and our sexuality are not the same thing, but they are related. And one of the biggest reasons and ways that they are related, people still think it's acceptable to harm, institutionalize, and even murder us because of these diverse identities.

Even though we've always been here, something says that they have a right to take away our life. Does this event, does our event here, does this take away from anybody else?

Are we taking away from our veterans who proudly serve, including our trans and queer veterans? Does this take away from those who have suffered through drug overdose or suicide? Those who have been lost in a car accident or house fires.

We're not taking away from any of that because we're here to take care and memorialize our own.

We don't want special rights. This is not about special rights. We want equal opportunity and equal access. Just as much as I don't want to tell an old man that he can't get hair plugs, who was he to tell me that I can't access estrogen?

Just as much as someone who might just want a nose job because they feel like they want to get a nose job, why can't I transition the sex to fit who I want to be?

I'm a proud trans transgender woman. Um, I'm also a me member of one of the largest drag families in in Rhode Island and in New England. I'm a lifelong New Englander and I'm a person.

I was asked to say a few words and I didn't know what to say. So, a quick Google search and I have figured out exactly what this day means. So, just a little bit of history. This day was started just just a few miles down the road down 24 in Boston by a transgender woman and two allies.

It's not something that's not very far from here. And it's it shocked me when I read it.

This happened 26 years ago. It's only 58 miles down the road. I thought this was something that happened in one of the major cities that are even bigger than Boston, Massachusetts, and New England.

But no, it was literally 58 mi down the road, which matters to me because I drive that road every day or almost every day with work.

When I came out, I came out very, very old. Yes, I said old. I'm 41 years old.

I came out when I was 38 years old and I started um estrogen right after. And yes, I do have a 20-year-old kid who also knows who's also from Elqua, too.

Um, I've gotten remarried. Yes, I've been married twice. Um, and we just got remarried recently. Um, the base of what I'm trying to say is that if you see a transgender or a trans person or a non-gender conforming person on on a road, all they want to do is live their life, go to work, and be a person.

I say a person because everyone deserves to be a person and no one deserves the treatment that these women that these people went through and that's where this day lies. Um, as a transgender woman in this day and age, it is very, very hard to live your day every day.

But I can say proud that outside of my house, I have a nice big trans flag that flies every day and I make sure of that.

And I literally walk outside, walk out my door, flip the bird, and keep on keep on moving and live my life. So for those that haven't come out and those that haven't have come out, you are welcome.

You are seen and you are heard. So do it now or do it whenever you're ready. I just want to thank everybody so much for coming out here today to hearing our stories to really creating this space that this has grown out. We first started our transgender uh day of remembrance walk down at the river with a handful of people. Turns out that's really cold. So, we've moved into city

hall. I want those of us who are listening online, those of us who are listening at home to remember when you feel unsafe, I'll be your home. This is your home now. This is our home and we're not going anywhere. Reach out to me. reach out to the fall over pride committee. I have several board members here who would love to hear from you before you no longer talk again. I have

organizations here that are here to love and support you and connect you to the resources that you need to feel whole because as much as this is a somber occasion and as much as this can be tough to go through the names and have our moment of silences that we'll end the night with, I want us to remember all the faces in this world. I want to invite up Pride Secretary Rachel Lumis

and we're going to read the names of those who have been lost in the last year. Mind you, the names that we are going to read are just in the United States and just in the last 12 months.

The full list can be found online because it is a much more exhaustive list, especially if you expand the scope out to the world. over the last four years that you've done it. You can check on when we're doing our moment of silence and raising the flag in a few minutes. You can have we'll have a moment of candle silence for all of those fallen that we've been able to memorialize and remember their names

over the last four years of Fall River coming together for this event. So, without further ado, I'd like to invite Rachel Lumis, our secretary, to come up and read our names.

Um, this year's loss list is as follows.

Anie Walker, Jill Heathers, Bouvier, Megan Jordan, Critley, Raven Ced, Phoenix, Cassetta, Rick Alistister, Newman, San Coleman, Dream Johnson, Rosa Machuka, Blair A. Sawyer, Onyx, Cornish, Cassie Rehea Scarlet Tiara Love Tori Jackson, Tessa June, Jax Graten, Hope Leica Young Bloodood, Laura Scheler, Emma Slavic, JJ Good Bay, Christina Hayes, Lily Don Harkkins, Gabrielle Nan, also known as Cam, Kamura

Woods, Arty Cassidy Beaolf Gibson, Lynn Becca Morin, Jordan JJ May, Caitlyn Leynthia Banks, also known as Kai, Norah Horwitz, Kelsey Elm, Shai Paris Dupree, Carmen Wells, Charlotte Fosgate, Jonathan Joss, Roy Moa, Aziza Barnes, Cam Thompson, Mecca Shabbaz, Parker Savaris, Eliza Ray, Sh, Audrey Damron, Tahiri Broom, Sam Nordquist, Urbania Johnson, Omry Dior, Allison Ketchum, also known as Alex, Jay Flores,

Leah Joy, Serenity Birdong, Spencer Jane Castle, Sydney Lake Phillips, also known as Sid, Kyla Jane Walker, Quenicia Shantel, L, also known as Koko, Velasia Wright, uh, an unknown who had perished, but we've not been able to identify them, Louisa Rivera, Denise Chucker, Miss Major Griffin Gasey, Leah Smith, Eli Stablin, a Johnny Walden, Sir Lady Java, Apollo Moon, Sunonny Hopkins, Bianca Astro

Arbjo, also known as Jiggly, Ent Michelle Camara, Bla1 Alexander Bell Mars Bas Lake Sturm, Robin James Post, Aurora Pelagrina, also known as Alex Aluna, Kia Lei, Tabitha Roberts, and Johnny Adma. So again, we're surrounded by the names of the fallen, the ones that we've lost, the ones we're here to celebrate and commemorate. So I'd ask for a moment of silence while we raise the flag up.

We're going to be raising at half mass due to the Massachusetts regulations, but the city of Oliver again is flying this for the entire week along with our lights and the art exhibit. So, a moment of silence, please.